2008 galore!, part 1: Worst Albumcovers of 2008

So here I am. I’ve been climbing mountains of albums (and still not really reached the top, but just keep that to yourself) and came back with my list of lists. For the next weeks (let’s hope it won’t take too long anymore) I will entertain you with some stupid lists summarizing the musical year 2008.

Let’s first start with the dumbest of them all: the ugliest albumcovers of 2008. I’m not an illustrator, nor am i a guy who is really sensitive about design (after all, i practice the fine art of Paint Art, which is just the lo-fi version of Photoshop). Then again, i don’t release albums into the wild, or at least not charge people for it. I don’t have to care. But the following artists should have:

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10. The Ruby Suns – Sea Lions

But inside out sock, why…isn’t this a nicely drawn picture of a kid standing on a bunch of big emeralds? Well, the reason why this made my list, is because it reminds me of Manga. Now, i do have some manga comics i like, but the problem with this cover is that it’s imitation manga, drawn in some Korean sweat shop, where kids were trained exactly one day and then they had to reproduce a 200-edition series of Kandru, the little warrior. His special powers are the things that come out of his body. It surely will scare his enemies. If they don’t die laughing.

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9. Noah & The Whale – Peaceful, The World Lays Me Down

There once were the seventies. And in those days, they published books with covers just like these. They were called “Igor, the fiddle player and Margarita Sjotlzestinin”. Yep, this reminds me of communist Russia, and though I am a communist (just not a russian one), i just don’t like this one. It’s bitterly disturbing (even to me). There is this banjo player – i know it’s not a fiddle – and his headless girlfriend, and a big comical looking tree in the back. And then some ghost like leggy type. And the colours are those that as a kid i refused to use, because they scared me.

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8. Adem – Takes

Again those russian seventies colours. Mix that with geometrical figures (i tend to hate covers that are just a bunch of geometry. I used to have nightmares about squares and perfect circles to attack me. Seriously by the way).  This looks like a ground plan for a parliament, or a theoretical elaboration on the study of colours. The alternative theory.

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7. The Sound Of Arrows – Danger EP!

On the 9th day, God decided to come down on a blue lightning which he had stolen from a 80’s record which no one would buy because the cover was too ugly. Everyone ignored the Lord – because of the lightning, that’s for sure – so he started his own hair metal band, and conquered the world again. but behind his back, people kept making fun of him. (Disclaimer: Sound of Arrows is no hair metal, that’s the worst)

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6. MGMT – Oracular Spectacular

The big problem with all the covers I’m listing here, is that they all are sort of pretentious without being funny. Now, MGMT is a bit pretentious, but they do have some nice songs (they are not in my big list..not even close), but this album cover – i think it’s the European one, or maybe just not -seems like a bad teenager’s photoshop. The green dots are indeed globes, and there is an angel in there, and the sun. Oh my god, it’s just about hippies. I just don’t get the big piece of fish in the front. (Jesus the fisherman). MAybe it’s christian propaganda.

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5. The Shaky Hands – Lunglight

Rohrsach-tests, woohoo! I see a two headed mole, that’s been run over a couple of times and has been bleeding orange blood ferociously (moles indeed have orange blood). What do you guys see? You see a dot of ink that’s been pressed together so it would create a mirror effect? You guys must be nuts.

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4. 31 Knots – Worried Well

Puppet shows for adults. That’s what i think of. Does that exist? The puppet version of Fight Club or the godfather? I would like that. And it would be cool if those puppets looked like the one on this cover. But puppets with bleeding noises AND some strange hat.. Now that i take a closer look…is it even a puppet? A very old man that got beaten up, so it would look good for the picture. yikes.

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3. Megapuss – Surfing

Devendra Banhart used to be a big hero for me, but he sort of lost track of himself along the way. I’m no longer eager to go out and buy his newest albums (i must admit, i only was up and until Nino Rojo). His sideproject called Megapuss has a really strange album cover. Ok, i must admit it is sort of funny, but just a mere smile funny. Two longhaired guys nakedly attacking each other, and then calling themselves Megapuss and making sure we all know that… it’s just too much.

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2. Warmer Milks – Soft Walks

Yep, this is an album cover, and not some weary picture of an ex-girlfriend. Everyone has his fair share of photo’s that make every photographer run out and weep “why, why?”, but again, we don’t use them as album covers. We cherish them at night, when we’re silently weeping underneath our blankets, sobbing “why, why?”. I’m sure this girl looks amazing in real life, but now she just will be known as that stupid picture on a Warmer Milks-cover

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1. Islands – Arm’s Way

If there is only one album which cover I really realy really really think is awful, then it’s this one. It’s the motherload of kitsch (and sadfully the music is going that way as well). In-A-Gadda-Vida, seventies progrock, a new age picture of Paradise and its inhabitants. I just don’t know what to think of this, but i do know that it’s the ugliest album cover of 2008.

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3 Comments on “2008 galore!, part 1: Worst Albumcovers of 2008”

  1. Debby Says:

    De Adem cover doet me denken aan het grondplan van Vorst Nationaal.
    Ik kies blok B.

  2. muziekfriek Says:

    Volgens mij staat op die van The Shaky Hands de poot van een roofdier. Het kan ook een uit de hand gelopen spin zijn, die langzaam transformeert in een vlinder. Is er een psychiater in de zaal?


  3. Sock Insides,

    All apologies for my wife’s face not being good enough for your hack blog.

    Michael Turner
    Warmer Milks


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